Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The One That Got Away

This is a nice article sent to me by a friend a long time ago. :)



In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you
shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the
one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your
virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the
one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with whom everything
was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was
no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards
just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually
argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with
the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and
commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy
romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're
not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter whom you're
with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials
become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not
that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not
yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be
ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect,
they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your
life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the
right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find
yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is
different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've
become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no
telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be
in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it
doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason,
the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here
today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and
not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?"
you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that
got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale-like you think your
marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature
enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is
just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so
often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been,"
but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case
it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of
that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the
future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if
it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very
existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if
you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've
dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the
one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got
away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If
the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you
know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say
to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away." Mark J. Macapagal

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